For much of the day, I felt like I was going crazy, the energy being as intense as it was. (It’s currently now back to the root pulsations again.)
We ALL go through our days of intense stuff. The energy being stirred up had my mind going a little bipolar–one moment I felt fine, the next I felt the negativity and just wanted it all to stop. We all experience this, and the more work you do, sorry to say, you’ll keep trudging through more and more obstacles.
The good news is, you’ll have experience. And with my experience, I knew exactly what I needed to do. So…
I walked it to death.
One of the things Swami Rudrananda taught his students, was whenever you’re going through a really difficult emotional time, and your mind keeps going over and over and over all the little things that you could have done differently, or shouldn’t have done, etc etc… That’s when you walk it to death. Grab a mantra, and start walking. Eventually, you’ll wear yourself out, physically but also mentally, and that’s when the inner tension will start to unravel and lose its grip.
So what I did today was about 30 minutes of running stairs with the mantra Hung Vajra Pay (a Tibetan mantra invoking Vajrapani that removes negativity and leaves in its place a dynamic peace), followed by another 90 minutes or so of walking and chanting.
20 malas later (108 repetitions per mala, so I covered more than 2160 repetitions of the mantra), the tension had left my body, and I felt myself again.
Sometimes you just need to walk it to death. I encourage you to try the same, and see how it works for you. Hung Vajra Pay is an especially great mantra to help you release old and limiting beliefs & emotions. http://soundcloud.com/